Tag Archives: Alan’s Betrayal

A Day in the Life of Alan (Note: This is a joke)

28 Oct

I recently decided to bail on two of my best friends. It had to do with a girl. They weren’t pleased. What do they know? I wanted to tell the girl who I dated in Korea that I loved her. Obviously a phone call could not accomplish this. So, paid a lot of money to fly to Adelaide, Australia. It was worth it!!!

Since I left my friends, they have relaxed on the beach, navigated the backwaters of Kerala, floated in the Dead Sea, explored Petra, slept underneath the stars in a Bedouin camp in Wadi Rum, gone scuba diving in the Red Sea, watched the sunset over the desert from Mount Sinai, and visited the 5,000 year old Pyramids of Giza — or so they say.

But let me tell you, it doesn’t compare to what I’ve been up to.

A normal day for me is crazy! I wake up around 8 am. I try to fall back asleep because that’s a bit too early to start my day, but I only sometimes can. After I get out of bed, I check my email. Usually, there is an email from Eric asking if I’ll be rejoining him and Dane in South Africa. I don’t respond right away because I have other things to do. My girlfriend Inyoung is taking English classes at the moment, something I am not capable of instructing her in because I’m Irish, so I spend much of the day preparing for when she comes home.

I spend most of my time trying to figure out ways to impress her. I flew halfway around the world to surprise her, abandoning a trip I had planned for over a year and a number of plane tickets I had already purchased. Anything I might do for her from this point forward can’t live up to that, right? That’s why I am so busy trying to think of things to do to impress her that I can’t respond to my friends’ emails.

I cook. I clean. I make myself presentable. Inyoung has high standards…or at least now she does because, well, we’ve already covered this, I flew halfway around the world to surprise her. That’s why I’ve decided to start learning Korean.

My return to Korea is inevitable at this point, so Inyoung has started to speak Korean to me in our apartment, like an immersion program of sorts. When I greet her at the door everyday, like a lonely puppy, she speaks the lovely phrase jjajeungna which I’ve come to understand to mean “nice to see you” (editor’s note:  actually means ‘annoying’). She’s also come to lovingly refer to me as jubu which means “handsome” (editor’s note:  actually means ‘housewife’).

As you can see, I’ve been quite busy. And, of course, I haven’t even mentioned all the stuff I’ve done in Adelaide…or should I say Badelaide…as in bad actually means good-elaide. It’s a pretty awesome place.

Restaurants are one of the main things to frequent in Adelaide. Unfortunately, Inyoung wants me to save money, so I can’t go to those. The harbor is also cool, but Inyoung doesn’t like it when I go outside. The other things I do, well, there are many of them, so many I can’t list them all here. There are so many very fun things!

So, as you can see, I don’t care at all that my friends have seen two wonders of the world in the last 10 days. It’s no big deal. I’m happy where I am. There’s so much to do. Take my word for it. Inyoung does. She often calls me micheosuh (editor’s note:  means crazy).

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India Wrap Up

24 Oct

We left India a little over a week ago. It was full of ups and downs, expecteds and unexpecteds, good times and bad. It’s hard to sum up all the things we saw and experienced, but since we’ve had a while to process our experience there, we thought we’d add a few of our final thoughts.

Dane:  The most momentous part of our time in India actually had nothing to do with the country itself. It was Alan leaving.

Eric:  The number one thing I’ll remember was my shock and confusion when he told us he was going to Australia to surprise his girlfriend.

Dane:  Alan leaving completely changed the dynamic of our trip.

Eric:  On the plus side, it forced us to meet more people. Over the last few weeks we’ve met a lot of really cool travelers.

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Jealous, Alan? 

Dane:  We both think he’s a bit crazy, but we wish him the best.

Eric:  Certainly. And we’ll think he’s even crazier if he doesn’t rejoin us in South Africa.

Dane:  As for India, I’m going to start with a negative. People were constantly trying to take advantage of us. They would lie to our faces and when we would call them on it, they would act as if we insulted their mother. It wore me down.

Eric:  I didn’t like the people either, but I look at Northern and Southern India as two different worlds. Northern India was the most intense place I’ve ever been and Southern India was very chill.

Dane:  I would agree. We’ve traveled all through Southeast Asia and chaos is familiar to us, but it was on a different level in Northern India.

Eric:  We certainly jumped right into the deep end by starting in Varanasi.

Dane:  I need to qualify that when we say people, we mean people trying to sell us on things, not Indians going about their daily lives. And the sites were amazing.

Eric:  We definitely saw loads of incredible things, highlighted by the Taj Mahal and the Golden Temple in Amritsar.

Dane:  And the India/Pakistan border. That whole ceremony was amazing.

Eric:  After going through the hectic North, it was great to go South to the beach. It was way more relaxed.

Dane:  We did very little besides relax on the beach for two weeks.

Eric:  It was incredible not to do anything on a day to day basis. Very relaxing.

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The view from the restaurant attached to our hotel.

Dane:  India was definitely worth visiting. I wouldn’t say that it affected me spiritually or changed my perspective of the world like so many travelers claim, but what we saw was definitely worth seeing.

Eric:  Alan found himself.

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The moment Alan found himself.

Dane:  I suppose one person changed out of three is a decent batting percentage.

Eric:  I was also glad to have experienced India even with the constant ups and downs.

Little Moments in Varkala

13 Oct

We’ve been on the beach in Varkala, India for the last several days and haven’t felt like writing anything. Nothing has really happened either. It’s the little moments, though, that often find a way to influence the greater part of something. Perhaps we have even experienced one or more of those little moments in the last few days. It’s hard to know. That’s what makes them special; you don’t realize how long-lasting they are until later. We’re going to go ahead, however, and list some candidates for those little moment that might stick with us. Later, we’ll realize which ones were actually important.

1)  The beach wasn’t as expansive as it was supposed to be or rather as it was advertised to be or rather as it will be in a month’s time.

2)  There were a few small beaches, that acted as nearly private beaches, if you could get to them along the cliffs.

3)  The waves didn’t act like normal waves. They crashed on top of us as if they were trying to break us.

4)  The first sunset we saw was cloudless. The sun dipped behind the water with a full on green flash.

5)  Every sunset became a must. None of them were as terrific as the first.

6)  Eric and I were on the beach watching a sunset on the second night. A group of Indian men approached us to begin a conversation. One of them looked Eric in the eyes in that serene moment and asked Eric a question he’s only heard from a girlfriend, “What are you thinking about right now?”

7)  Boats arrive in the late afternoon with their daily catches. An impromptu market immediately starts, and the fish are sold.

8)  Indians aren’t allowed to swim. White skinned people are. (insert something about racial discrimination)

9)  A lifeguard asserting his authority to an absurd degree called Alan out of the water before he was even close to reaching the boundary line marked by red flags. Alan, like the nice boy he is, listened to the lifeguard and began walking back into the middle of the swimming area, away from the red flags, in waist deep water. The lifeguard then went nuts with his whistle and waving his finger at Alan and yelling at him. Alan couldn’t hear him, so he yelled back, “What?” The lifeguard demanded he come over to him, told Alan to not yell at him, and said that Alan shouldn’t walk in waist deep water because it is easier to walk on land, declaring he is a lifeguard; he should know.

10)  If you buy lounge chairs at the beach for the day, know the day ends at 4:00 PM.

11)  Our neighbor meditating on the porch the first night we returned from dinner.

12)  Our neighbor not speaking to us.

13)  Our neighbor high kicking the air at night … because he must know that’s a weird thing to do.

14)  The old man that walked around with a see-through cloth wrapped around his waist. (It was very see-through.)

15)  The old man with the see-through cloth smoking weed on his porch.

16)  The old man with the see-through cloth being a super-talented and successful Dutch artist.

17)  The yoga at sunset with all white participants and no Indians. The Indians didn’t know what the hell was going on.

18)  The waiter at a restaurant offering to sell us 10 grams of weed for the equivalent of 10 dollars.

19)  The old man with the see-through cloth asking me if I’m a computer hacker.

20)  The manager at the restaurant who sat in the back and listened to 50 Cent’s greatest hits on a constant loop.

21)  The French guy surfing on lounge chairs and fighting the air for an entire day.

22)  Alan telling us that he’s flying to Australia and may never see us again.

And that was Varkala.